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My dilemma is that I really like the person I’m dating, but I recently met someone else who interests me.I don’t want to break off a good relationship to go on a date with the new person, only to find that we don’t have much in common.Dear Too, I applaud that you want to focus on your children and not make them spectators to your serially monogamous parade.I think that when parents split, children should only get to know significant others when they are truly significant.What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.

It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.

We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…

I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.

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